Escaping Sadness

by Shadows

After a long day i am now back home. the numbing effect of surrounding myself with people is residing and i am now left alone with my restless mind; the flash backs, the memories, the ringing voice  in my ears… i cannot escape the inevitable no more.

As i reach out looking for a black ensemble to wear tomorrow to my grandmothers funeral it hits me!  my tears arise with no hesitation and draw their trail along my face…

What hurts the most is the state of permanent absence that life forces you to accept.

I guess all i want to say is am going to miss my grandmother.

My grandmother… she washed the army of ants that climbed on my hands and terrified me when i was a kid she washed them away and took me in to her arms and just then i knew everything will be fine.

My grandmother bathed me, sat me at her feet brushed and braided my hair.

My grandmother supported me in my first “relationship/ heartbreak” ever. Again she took me to her arms and told me that i deserved much better.

My grandmother… tucked me to bed. she had the PERFECT WINTER BED TUCK  :)

My grandmother… always praised the beautiful things she saw in us (her grand daughters) shed make every one of us feel extra special.

My grandmother… taught me knitting when i was a little girl.

My grandmother… gave me precious things of hers when i started growing up.

My grandmother… loved flowers and pizza :)

My grandmother… loved Om kalthoum, she used to sing a long, i thought she had a beautiful voice.

My grandmother…. i loved how she loved to take care of her self. how she smelled, how it took her 15 mins to brush her beautiful silver hair :)

My grandmother… i loved how she was a “Mother”.

My grandmother… i loved her strength and patience.

My grandmother… i loved her simplicity.

My grandmother… i love her…