Whirlpool

by Shadows

I dont know.. i just felt like passing by and saying hi, i miss it here..
i have nothing to say, i hate it when i have nothing to say..
it makes me feel like am suffering from alzhimer,
i know that things caught my attention today others made me smile others brought wonderful thoughts and ideas to my mind… but whats the use of them if they’re constantly forgotten?!

i started to get used to my short hair.. now i want it shorter.. a constant need of change.. is that good or bad, is it a sign that somthing is missing or is it perfectly normal..

one thing abt me, is that i never know if things that happen around me or even things i do, are wrong or right, ethicaly acceptable or not, i always need to double check with ppl that seem to find there way through the many man made rules and regulations!

i usually sleep with two pillows one i lay my head on and the other i fill in the emptyness with. (my extra pillow is now temporarly taken)
i remember them mentioning in the book “the secret” somthing abt realising what u want and acting as if its already there, and they gave an example abt a woman who was waiting for the man of her dreams to come along, but he never did, then she realised that she herself wasnt ready or wasnt adapting her self with the fact that there is another somone.
So then she started making room for him in her closet and made sure there was space for his car in her garage and even slept on one side of the bed :) so back to my pillows i discoverd that i instictivly use my pillow to remind me that there will be somone here instead of my all so kind and friendly pillow… i dont know what wud i’ve done with out it, becuase it not only fills physical emptyness but also emotional… i find it hard for me to sleep single pillowed now!

So you either better get me an extra pillow or get me a man!

ive been randomly casualy offered to be pampered… ohhh my god how i pitty myself at times…
i just need to learn to swim away from the whirlpool,
amazingly all am doing now is swimming towards it!